Walk With Me
by every1hingyouever
Summary: Sometimes they tried to understand Barney, but somehow always ended up more confused than they had started out. All Barney wanted was to matter. Set during Season 2 spring time skip, sometime after 2x16.
1. Chapter 1

The lean blonde rested his arm on the doorframe, looking into the room before him with mild interest. He blinked a few times, then made up his mind to enter. The dark-haired (although graying) man inside paid him no notice, too engrossed in his own story as he lectured his two children. Fighting back a chuckle at the obvious boredom of the kids, the blonde was silent. He remained standing at the edge of the room, not wanting to interrupt. He considered himself practically invisible.

Barney had always liked magic.

As the man enthusiastically launched into another tale, Barney watched his niece and nephew groan with annoyance. _Oh, Ted. Still boring people to this day. _He still wasn't used to being called their uncle – although, he had to admit, it made him pretty awesome. Barney listened in for a little while, noting the glee on Ted's face as he relived his glory days. An awkward pause between events brought Ted's attention back to the present; he glanced around and gave a small jolt of surprise as he noticed Barney for the first time. The two friends shared a nod as they both mentally filled the gap in the story.

Ted continued to speak, the story's time skip going unnoticed by his exhausted children. It was a part of the past that hadn't been retold, for obvious reasons.

Barney twitched the corners of his mouth in remembrance.

* * *

Rain stung Barney's face as he dashed down the deserted New York street, clutching an object tightly to his chest. His suit had torn open in the wind, and it fluttered behind him like a pair of dark wings. He nearly slipped and fell on the wet grates of a sewer, but he didn't look back. Barney panted in frustration – how had it all come down to _this?_

_One Week Earlier_

"Get ready, Ted, 'cause I have a surprise and it's NOT my next Halloween costume!" Marshall practically shouted as his friend approached the bar booth. Ted's eyes lit up but his face remained uninterested. "Is it a puppy?" he suggested.

"No." Marshall's face fell. "But that would have been totally sweet. Anyways, you'll NEVER guess what we're going to do next Friday!" He paused, face frozen in the moment.

Ted sighed. "What are we going to do next Friday, Marsh-"

"We're gonna make BEER!"

Marshall held his hands in the air in conveyed excitement. He left them there as Ted raised his own. "No way! We've been wanting to try that for _years!_ How did you-" Ted was interrupted again as Marshall yelped in surprise. A hand had appeared from beneath the table and clutched the wood as it dragged the rest of its body up. Marshall leaned away from the hand in disbelief as Barney clumsily rose up next to him, straightened his tie, and brushed himself off.

"What up?" he greeted, cocking his head. He was met by stares.

"How did – how –" Marshall pointed beneath the table, unable to form a question. He put his hand on his chin. "WHY?"

Barney rolled his eyes. "I was waiting for you guys and I fell asleep," he explained, as if it were obvious.

"Under…the table." Ted pointed out; sometimes he tried to understand Barney, but somehow always ended up more confused than he had started out.

"Yeeeesss," Barney replied slowly, raising his eyebrows and gesturing to the table. "That's what this is called, Ted. And this is a booth. And this is a –"

"Got it, Barney," Ted's muffled voice sounded from under his hands.

Barney shot him a glare. "And this is me showing you how it's done. Hey!" he called out to a wandering girl at the bar. She beckoned him over and he obliged, flicking Ted's face as he passed.

Marshall snickered as Ted pressed his hand to his cheek. "Ow," he pointed out. "Really?"

"Face it, man, he just showed you," Marshall laughed, pointing to the bar. Barney was already at first base as he pressed his face against the girl's.

"Dude, are we going to invite Barney to this beer-making thing?" Ted wondered out loud. "He's been acting more…" he searched for the right word. "…more irritating than usual."

"I was just about to ask that…" Marshall shifted uncomfortably. "I invited all of our guy friends from college. It's gonna be a bro beer party!"

"Barney won't want to come to a party with no girls," Ted spat out, but he knew it wasn't true. Barney loved hanging out with them. But did they really enjoy him tagging along and ruining all their plans…?

Marshall's eyes glared warnings at Ted as Barney made his way back to the seat. "Totally just scored her number! Later I'm gonna take her back to…what?" he paused, noticing the disgusted looks on his friends' faces.

Ted focused his gaze to match Marshall's, starting one of their psychic conversations.

_Barney'll get mad if you don't invite him._

_ But he'll scare all our friends away!_

_ I don't want him there either! You handle this!_

"Guys? Earth to bros?"

_Say something!_

_ NO! It's YOUR party!_

"Okay, so I ended up on the floor-"

_ But I'm scared, Ted._

"-because I'm a rough sleeper? Tired five?"

_Dammit._

"So what's this I heard about a beer party?"

Ted glanced at his friend. Barney had given up trying to win the attention of his friends and tilted his head back, pretending to snore.

"UM!" Marshall broke the silence. "Ted?"

One of Barney's eyes squinted open. "I think it's your line, Ted," he whispered sarcastically.

Ted glanced from Barney, to Marshall, back to Barney. "Itsnextweekendandweinvitedabunchofcollegefriendsa ndyoucancomeifyouwantbutyoudonthavetoeither." He muttered and slammed his forehead down in shame. Marshall was going to be annoyed, but Barney was still his friend…

"Cool!" Barney instantly brightened. "Except, instead we could-"

"No offense, man, but I'm keepin' this party running my way, okay? It might be the last one before the wedding," Marshall said sheepishly.

"Oh. Oh okay, that's cool too," Barney glanced down in submission.

"And can you please not ruin this one? Please?" Ted added, feeling guilty as he saw Barney wince.

"Please! How could the Barnacle ruin…" he trailed off at the very serious looks on his friends' faces. "Fine. No karaoke."

Marshall and Ted shared another look.

"Really? REALLY?! I thought we were bros! Don't you guys trust me?" Barney argued. "Fine. I'll be _normal_ at your party. Or whatever passes for _normal_ with you people." He pouted and rose from the booth. "But let it be known that this party is going to be LA—wait for it—ME. LAME." He stalked away from the gaping men, only to spin around and rush back. "Hah, if you pronounce it different it says 'Lay me'-"

"I thought you were leaving?" sighed Ted.

Barney frowned. "Ted, I'm serious. That line might work." He tilted his head in thought. "And I am leaving! I'm angry!" He stomped away for the second time, growling about ungrateful friends.

Barney was tired of not being liked by his friends. His BEST friends, in fact. It wasn't fair…he was _awesome!_ They were all he had in the world, but it just didn't seem like he meant as much to them. All he wanted was to mean something to someone… someone… Barney halted outside the bar and snapped his fingers. He was forgetting something.

Ted and Marshall continued their conversation with plans for the party, pausing only to stare as Barney dashed back through the door, pointed with two fingers from his own eyes to theirs, grabbed the wrist of the girl from earlier and dragged her back outside.

Ted crossed his fingers. "Marshall, you better hope he listens…"


	2. Chapter 2

Lily burst through the door, clutching a heavy bag in one hand. "ROBIN, I'M HERE!" she lifted her head back and shrieked. Robin tore from her spot by the window to peer in the bag.

"We are so _damn _awesome!" She gleefully removed a pair of makeup kits from the bag. "Good thing the Halloween stores open so early!"

The girls had sheepishly agreed not to interfere with Marshall's plans, but they were both dying to know what guy parties were like from the inside. Robin was sure they would be able to sneak in with Marshall's college buddies as long as they laid low...and Lily's idea of laying low was anything but. "We'll wear disguises! It'll be fun!" she had squealed, fawning over the thought of seeing how her fiancé acted when she wasn't around. The high school prom crash had been…somewhat successful, so why not this?

"Lily, we have four days until this party and all we have are our faces! What on earth are we going to wear?" Robin worried. "Where is this thing at again…?"

"Oh, I think one of Marshall's friends was able to get them into this fancy brewery place. Who knew beer could be so dressy?" Lily shrugged, looking down.

Robin's face grew thoughtful. "I think I know who can help."

_15 Minutes Later_

"So, the ladies are finally suiting up!" Barney kicked in the door, rubbing his hands together with an evil glint in his eye. He stopped suddenly and squinted at the girls. "This isn't a lesbian phase, is it…?"

"No!" Lily punched his shoulder, but he didn't flinch. "We need your help to sneak into Marshall's party."

"Aha! Now this'll be interesting…what do I get for helping?" he grinned devilishly. "Maybe a chance to-"

Lily shoved her finger under his chin, forcing it up. "Don't you dare, you little creep."

Robin snickered and shared a look with Barney. "Lily, I don't think you have the right to call anyone little."

After shooting a death glare at Robin, Lily turned back around. "How could you possibly turn down a chance to make some mischief?"

Barney frowned and nodded. "Good point. Always be mischievous, ladies. It feels good." He stepped forward. "Okay. I am willing to allow you two to _borrow_ a couple of my older, trusted suits – assuming you will fit them – if it is agreed that I am bestowed, for one year, starting today, the privileges of being driven wherever I want by one of you. I need it to look like I have a woman chauffeur when I _ride_ the town. Heh." He seemed to ponder something for a few seconds. "Also, I really need to learn how to drive."

Lily sighed. "Whatever, Barney. You're pathetic."

"Yes!" Barney punched the air. "Now let's get you two set! There's no time for rest, Scherbatsky!" He dragged Robin from her seat on the couch and hurried the two women out the door before they could protest.

* * *

Marshall put his head in his hands. "Ted, I'm getting killed here! I can't handle this, I'm too young! I'm too young to die, Ted!" He leapt up and shook Ted's shoulders. "Ted!"

"Buddy, I'm here. Tell me your problems."

"Okay." Marshall was suddenly calm and sank back down. "I thought I was off the hook when this entire party was taken care of! My friend Jake's got it handled! But now things are adding up and I spent a lot on the engagement ring and now we might _lose_ the _apartment_-"

Barney strode in through the door, not bothering to knock. "Who wants to see a – whoa, bro. Calm down before the tears come!"

Marshall glared at him. "I don't have tears! I've run outta tears!" he whined. "My life is over!"

"Calm down, dude," Ted soothed, patting Marshall on the back as Barney broke into laughter and began to sing mockingly.

"Ted, how am I going to afford anything anymore? I've had this problem before and just barely missed it!"

"Hey, hey, Marshall. HAHA! Every storm runs outta rain…la la-"

"Shut up, Barney. Shut up!" Ted yelled angrily as Barney stopped with his mouth open. He rolled his eyes and leaned against the door, pouting.

"Ted, the only thing keeping us from moving in with my parents is that damn job I have at Barney's company –"

"Oh, that? Don't worry about it, I got you fired." Barney looked pleased with himself.

"You – WHAT?" Marshall growled. His jaw was clenched in shock.

"Yeah, I-"

"The ONE thing that's holding me on the ground is that job and you got me…FIRED?" Marshall looked like he was ready to kill. Ted had to keep both hands on his friend's shoulders to prevent him from standing up. Barney backed away slowly.

"I mean, I can easily get you the job back if you want but I just th-thought-"

Marshall wrenched himself away from Ted's grip. Ted flailed his arms desperately, trying to win back his friend, but he was too slow. Marshall walked ahead slowly until he was face to face with Barney. The smaller man fought to keep from trembling as he stared at Marshall's livid expression. Ted bit his lip – Marshall wouldn't do anything stupid, would he? They would fix this… Ted was afraid what could happen to the group if this ended the wrong way.

"You're ruining me, man," Marshall muttered as he contemplated his own hands. "I have a few slaps left and I'm fighting REALLY hard not to use them so please tell me you're joking."

Barney tried to pull off a fake smile, but Marshall's eyes had him frozen. "Just wait, Marshall, I didn't – waahh!" he whimpered as Marshall gritted his teeth and jerked his hand up next to his face, poised to strike. Ted could tell Marshall was struggling to keep his cool. He perched himself on the edge of the couch, shocked by the scene in front of him.

After what seemed like an eternity, Marshall finally backed down. He had apparently decided it wasn't worth wasting the surprise of a good slap. "Barney, get out," he sighed. Barney remained still, like a naughty child unsure whether he was off the hook or if he would be punished later. He watched hesitantly as Marshall turned away, then began to relax and steadied himself. Suddenly Marshall spun around and slammed his fist full on into the bridge of Barney's nose. Barney cried out as a crack split through the air.

"MARSHALL!" Ted yelled, leaping up.

"That wasn't a slap," Marshall said through clenched teeth as he stalked into his bedroom. A look of regret crossed his face, but he didn't turn back. Barney clung to the shelf beside the door, his jaw open but no sound coming out. His eyes were squeezed shut as he gingerly reached up to feel his broken nose.

Ted could easily tell how shocked Barney was, but he didn't feel like sympathizing. Barney had ruined everything _again..._right? Right? Ted worriedly glanced back and forth, from Barney to the door of Marshall and Lily's room. Who should he…

Barney's face throbbed with the sting of Marshall's punch. He was lost for words. Marshall hadn't even considered… He looked up to see Ted, for one second, contemplating him. He figured he must be a sorry sight. Barney could feel a small trickle of blood moving down his skin, but ignored it as he met Ted's eyes. His hope dropped as Ted looked away and hurried towards the bedroom.

"Marshall, listen buddy, things are gonna be okay…" his voice faded as he comforted his angry friend.

Barney stared blankly at the floor for a few minutes before he remembered where he was. He turned to wander out of the apartment, trying not to touch his face. The shocked expression had left – he wasn't surprised that Ted had picked Marshall. He wasn't surprised at all.

* * *

The cab ride home was silent and tense. Barney didn't bother to explain to the driver exactly why his nose and hands were covered in blood or why he couldn't lift his gaze above the ground. He wanted to curl up into a ball and disappear, like he had tried to do as a kid. That had always worked for him. To just forget the world, forget everything that was wrong with his life, forget the overweight cab driver that kept giving him nasty looks like he had been picked up out of the gutter. Why didn't that work now?

He couldn't shake off that look from Marshall's eyes…Barney's nose wasn't all the punch had broken. He was barely able to keep himself from shivering at the thought. He didn't say a word as he handed the driver his payment and made his way up to his own apartment. Usually when Barney's friends let him down, he would vent by hitting on chicks – and he admitted to himself that his battle scar would make an awesome pity package – but tonight he wasn't feeling it. No one gave him a second glance as he walked through the apartment lobby; no one stopped to help as he stumbled up the stairs. He threw off his clothes and lay on his bed, half-paying attention to some late night comedy show. He fell asleep alone, listening to the rise and fall of his own chest.

No one cared.


	3. Chapter 3

About 83% of the times Barney Stinson had woken up in his apartment, there was a woman next to him.

This was one of those times.

"_What_ the-" he shrieked and narrowly escaped hitting his head on the corner of the bedside table as he fell backwards. As he lay tangled in his mess of blankets, a small head peered over the side of the bed at him. "Lily?! Oh god, if you want to move in with me again-"

"Ew, no!" Lily choked. "Barney, I came here because I need your help…"

* * *

Robin stared at Ted as he told her the story about the night before. "So…you're saying Marshall got so mad that he _punched…_Barney?" Ted nodded and looked at the ground. He couldn't help but feel that this was all so wrong. Marshall never hit anyone.

"I tried comforting him after it happened. He wishes he hadn't thrown that punch, but he's just so mad at everything that's going on. I wish there was something else we could do to help him…"

Robin sighed. "Ted, I think the best thing to do right now is make sure he doesn't do anything stupid until he gets back on his feet. Does Lily know?"

"No, she left early this morning to go shop or something. I don't know when she'll be back."

Robin took Ted's frantic face in her hands. "Ted. Marshall will be okay. And Barney…well, he's _Barney. _He'll forget about it. He's probably off doing something stupid as we speak to build himself right back up."

Ted nodded. Robin was right.

* * *

Two days passed, and no one heard from Barney. Not that anyone was particularly ready to hear from Barney. Marshall was calming down, based off the fact that the threat of eviction had been called off as a mistake, but his finances had come to a standstill. He avoided talking about Barney at any cost. Ted was almost relieved; he had to admit that without Barney around, the group of friends was having fun and staying out of trouble at it. He was probably better off taking care of himself anyway. Lily was told as little as possible, but she took the news more easily than expected. Robin felt a bit lost without the fifth member of the gang there to keep things interesting, but she figured she'd get over it. The others knew him a lot better than she did…or so she thought. It seemed like life was slowly changing back to normal until Lily broke down.

"Lily, where's your ring?" Marshall noticed, addressing his suspiciously quiet fiancé.

A look of terror crossed her complexion. "My ring? Oh…oh, silly me, I forgot to put it back on after washing the dishes," Lily gave a little laugh and hurried out of the living room.

Marshall looked curiously after her, then shrugged. "Who's ready to partay it up tomorrow night?" he yelled, launching into the robot and making Robin giggle. "Ted is!" Marshall pointed to his friend, perched in Robin's lap as she pretended to hide him.

"I don't know a Ted. Maybe you should invite us girls instead! It's your last chance!" Robin argued, still trying to score her way in fair and square. She slapped her hand over Ted's mouth as he started to protest.

"No girls allowed!" Marshall whined. "Lily, make Robin stop bugging me!"

There was a crash from the kitchen as a pan was dropped onto the floor – no, not dropped, _thrown._ Lily emerged from the kitchen, looking very pale. "Robin, leave my fiancé alone…and let go of Ted." She spoke softly, with a commanding but apprehensive tone. Her eyes seemed almost frightened of the scene before her.

No one spoke for quite a few seconds – Lily's appearance had taken them all by surprise, and the sound of the pan still echoed through the apartment. Finally, Marshall broke the spell. "Baby, what's wrong?" he asked warily.

Lily brought her hand to her cheek worriedly. "Nothing, I just have some stuff to do," she said almost to herself. The small woman grabbed her coat and left the apartment, no one rising to try and stop her. Ted, Marshall and Robin stared at each other, trying to make sense of what had just happened.

The silence stayed dead as the group waited for the opening sarcastic comment from Barney, but none came.

Robin was the first to come to her senses. As Lily's best friend, she knew that Lily must be hiding something huge if she didn't know about it. And if Lily was hiding something that big, then she obviously didn't want even her fiancé to find out about it…yet. Thinking quickly on her feet (even more quickly than Marshall the lawyer), Robin defended her friend. "Before you guys say anything to Lily, hear me out," she began. "She's been really tense lately with all the pressure of the wedding coming up, and she knows we've been keeping stuff about Barney from her. She's frustrated and she just needs to let it out – trust me, I'm her friend. I know stuff like this." Robin made it a point in her mind to confront Lily later and actually find out the truth. "Just let her work it out by herself!" she finished, praying that her excuse would last long enough for Lily to figure out whatever what going on.

Ted and Marshall gave Robin puzzled looks, but thankfully her words seemed to come across. Ted leaned back into the couch and relaxed. "If Lily needs some pressure off, I'm sure I could help out more with the planning," he said with a smile. Robin blinked. _Thank God for Ted. _After seeing his friend agree, Marshall looked much more accepting. "If that's what she needs, I'll do anything," he offered.

Robin grinned at him. "Of course!" she agreed, sighing with relief. "You boys just keep busy with your party plans for tomorrow." They brightened at that and began eagerly discussing the night ahead. As soon as a playful argument began about which of their friends would get the most wasted, Robin found the time to quietly move into the kitchen.

She reached into her back pocket for her cell phone. She wasn't the kind to text much, but there was no escape from the apartment right now and she was desperate for answers. Her fingers shot out a quick message to Lily.

_Are you okay?_

Robin hoped her friend would answer. She usually responded, but not when she was angry or upset…but Robin was her best friend. _Come on, Lily, come on…_ Robin pleaded in her mind as she blocked out the noise of the conversation about horrible taxi drivers in the next room. The boys were making so much noise, it felt like the countertop was shaking…_wait. _Robin glanced at the space where Lily's coat had rested a few minutes ago. _Ah, dammit._ There the phone sat, vibrating obnoxiously with the screen lit. It must have slipped out of the coat pocket when Lily grabbed it. Groaning in defeat, Robin moved to return to the living room when she stole a quick last glance at the phone. A box had appeared at the top, reading:

_1 New Message: Sparkles_

Robin grinned. Lily would never let her childhood pop career go, even when it came to her contact list. Underneath, however, there was a second box:

_1 New Message: Barney_

A frown spread across her lips. She was nearly tempted to open the message, but she wasn't _that _nosy. Lily would notice. Robin wasn't sure why Barney was trying to contact her, but she desperately needed to know. If the guys found out…Robin's eyes narrowed. Maybe she should tell them. Barney had screwed up Marshall's life, and she was eager to see more revenge than just a punch. He deserved it. He was a selfish, lying, stupid….Robin's feelings hit her all at once, causing her to do something she should have never let herself do.

She pulled out her own phone, and she texted him.

**Barney. **

He usually responded instantly. He always carried his phone at close hand and had even been known to text them while getting laid to brag about his exploits. Why wasn't he responding? Robin watched the hands on the kitchen clock move forward and listened to the wild conversation in the living room. _Why wasn't he responding?_ It felt like she had been waiting for hours. Her fingers trembled, and she looked down. Finally.

_Don't._

**What?**

_Don't pretend to care. I'm fine. _

The self-centered bastard. He thought she wanted to comfort him? Robin was fuming – all she wanted right now was to do the opposite.

**Actually, I don't care. Where's Lily?**

There was a long pause again. Barney never paused.

_She's safe. _

**Did you see her?**

_No._

**Why are you trying to contact her?**

_I need to tell her something._

**Explain?**

Robin waited for five minutes, but he never responded. Barney Stinson, the most talkative man she knew, had stopped talking. Robin wasn't done with him yet, though. She attacked again, and meant it this time.

**We all hate you, you know.**

_I know._

**You're a selfish idiot. **

_I know._

Robin couldn't believe her eyes… Barney always had a comeback. He had said he was fine, but something about him was seriously different. Almost unconsciously, she dealt the final blow.

**I don't want to talk anymore. Bye.**

She regretted her words as soon as she sent them. She never got a response.

"…Robin?" Ted's voice hesitantly greeted her from the kitchen doorway. She looked up from the phone. Robin felt a tear escape from the corner of her eye, and reached up to block it casually. How long had she been standing here, anyways? "You need to see this," Ted announced softly. Robin noticed the tense atmosphere that had suddenly fallen over the apartment. She curiously walked past Ted to see a very troubled Marshall holding a letter. It was addressed to him.

"What's that?" she asked in confusion.

Marshall didn't seem to notice her; he just began to read. "_Dear Mr. Eriksen: We are pleased to inform you of your promotion, due to the recommendation of an employee of notable position…" _His eyes skimmed over the rest. _"Please confirm your starting rate of…_Oh my god." The tall man looked about ready to faint. "He promoted me. That's what he meant."

Ted's eyes looked close to popping out of his head, his mouth dangling open in disbelief. He brought his hand up slowly to cover it so he wouldn't speak his thoughts. Robin froze up, pinning her arms to her sides and biting her lip in absolute guilt. Marshall's features were stone cold, hiding his terrible realization. A deathly silence fell over the room. All three friends shared the same reaction, but Marshall was the one who spoke.

"What have I done?"

* * *

**AN: Hi guys, thank you for reading and reviewing! I'll keep updating this story as often as possible! I'm glad you enjoy it so far!**


	4. Chapter 4

It was okay. Everything was supposed to be okay.

All the other times, they had just gone back to their normal lives. Someone would screw up; they would be forgiven. Back to the usual. Someone would screw up again. Marshall knew that cycle backwards and forwards from his experiences in New York; he knew that he needed to apologize in order to fix things. Marshall couldn't bring himself to face Barney after what he had done, so he called him. Barney finally picked up on the fourth ring.

"Hey. Dude. I'm so sorry…" Marshall began. "I shouldn't have punched you. I was an idiot. You forgive me? I'm sorry."

There was a long silence on the other end. "Yeah, it's fine." Barney spoke quietly.

"I should have listened to you. I just got the promotion letter, and…just wow. Thanks, man. I really owe you. No, I seriously owe you so much more for how I acted. You were there for me." Marshall continued, barely pausing to take a breath. "I hope you still show up to the party tonight, it's gonna be awesome! See ya, bro!" He hoped to keep the conversation as short and meaningful as possible to avoid any awkward exchanges. He still felt terribly guilty.

"Bye," muttered Barney through the speaker. Marshall heard a click as the call was disconnected. He tossed the phone onto one end of the living room couch and sank down onto the other, relieved.

Lily entered from the kitchen, where she was busy making lunch. "Was that Barney? How'd it go?"

"I think we're okay," Marshall admitted. "He didn't seem mad. I just feel terrible."

"Aw, honey, it's okay!" Lily comforted him. "I'm sure you two will work out!" She wandered over to her fiancé and kissed him sweetly.

Lily had returned to the apartment the previous evening to a scene of chaos and confusion as a devastated Marshall tried to cope with his actions. She used the situation as an excuse to hide her own.

"Oh, it's nothing," she had argued when Robin interrogated her about it later.

"Yeah? Then…why was Barney texting you?" Robin looked embarrassed, yet smug.

Lily was taken aback by the question. "Well…um…I had asked how he was doing. I was just curious. He was doing fine. End of story."

"That's BS, Lily…" Robin muttered as she walked away. Lily heard. She cursed Robin for making this harder, but admitted to herself that her friend was half-right. It was better if no one knew…

Lily broke apart from Marshall as their kiss ended. She smiled at him and poked his nose. "I wish I was going to your party."

Marshall grinned seductively. "The party's right here, and you've got a special invite…" He leaned in closer.

"NO THANK YOU!" Ted announced from his workbench in the corner. The couple laughed and shared one final kiss as Lily returned to the kitchen and Marshall pondered the night to come. He wanted Barney to show up…right?

_A Few Hours Later_

Lily happily made her way around the apartment, checking her reflection every few minutes to admire her handiwork. She and Robin looked fantastic; the makeup had worked perfectly, and the girls were wearing hats to cover their hair. Marshall and Ted had left an hour earlier to meet their friends, and Lily hadn't wasted any time. There was only one final touch to wait for now…

A knock at the door jolted her from her image in the mirror, and she hurried to open it. She smiled approvingly; Barney had followed through. Two suits hung on the door with a note that read, "Use these well." Giggling, Lily grabbed the clothes and rushed back into the apartment to find Robin.

The girls hurriedly dressed themselves and, once they were happy with their appearance, left to grab a taxi to the brewery. Lily coolly slid her hands into her pockets; the engagement ring was still missing from her finger, but she had managed to sneak around without Marshall noticing it again. She shuddered as the taxi drove past a crumbling sidewalk next to an alleyway. Lily recognized the cracks in the sidewalk all too well.

_It had happened a few days ago. She had been trying to find a store her college friends talked about; she must have taken a wrong turn somewhere. Lily had found herself in the midst of what must be the creepiest alley in New York. She felt a pair of eyes watching her and whipped around to get a glimpse of a rough-looking man staring from inside the alley. A few other men stood behind him defensively._

_ "Hey, pretty girl," one of them jeered. "Come hang with us." _

_ "I…I…I have to go," Lily stuttered. She had seen movies; she wasn't stupid. She needed to get out of there. _

_ "Got any money on ya?" They began closing in, and Lily panicked. She stumbled and fell, her face pressed up against the grimy sidewalk. _

_ "Stop!" she gasped before they reached her. "Take this ring…it's worth a lot of money." _

_ The large man in front paused and seemed to consider this. He snatched the ring out of Lily's outstretched hand. "This real?" he asked suspiciously. Lily nodded. The man slipped the ring onto his finger; Lily held back a squeak as she watched the symbol of her engagement to Marshall slip away. She held back another as she recognized the shape of a gun protruding from underneath the man's coat. While he spun the ring around his finger in a hypnotizing way, Lily took her chance to silently rise to her feet. She slipped around the corner onto a busier section of street as the thugs were busy admiring their new prize. They took no notice of her._

Lily gulped as she dropped back to reality. Peering at the alley out of the taxi window, she could almost sense the eyes of the rough man staring at her again.

"You okay, Lily?" Robin pressed her arm.

"Yeah!" Lily chirped, prying away her gaze. "Let's party!"

She had desperately gone to Barney for help. She could only hope for something to come of it.

* * *

"Bye," Barney muttered numbly, pressing the end button. His index finger slowly closed the cell phone next to his face. He felt the weight of the past couple days rain down on him as he stood on the balcony of his apartment, staring down at the bustle of the street below. A breeze swept between the tall series of buildings, ruffling the blond hair he hadn't bothered to trim lately. Barney pondered the distance to the ground for a few seconds, then turned his head back up to the sky. It was filled with white, puffy clouds, floating unscathed over his head. Barney wished he were a cloud; it would certainly make life easier. _Although less awesome,_ his subconscious pointed out.

What did it matter anymore? Barney didn't feel awesome. He was a terrible person, a heartless person, a _cold_ person who didn't deserve his friends. Why was he so stupid? Barney pounded the heel of his hand against his forehead in agony. It left a small red bump in his skin, but he didn't care. No one else would.

When Lily had come to him for help, Barney had wondered why exactly she thought he was the right person. Now, her trust in him was all he had left. He made a silent promise to himself to try harder.

Ted had never trusted him, and he didn't expect Ted to. Why should anyone trust him? He supposed Lily was one of those types who would forget and forgive easily, but Ted was smarter. Every time he picked Marshall over Barney stung like the jab of a needle, but Barney forgave him.

Robin. Barney sighed helplessly at the thought. She was his anchor, and probably his favorite of the group to talk to. When he had gotten her text…well, he had felt a glimmer of hope. Now, afterwards, Barney cursed himself for ever thinking he could be forgiven. Not that he had forgiven himself, either. Her words had cut into him, breaking him with what was undoubtedly the truth; he had no friends. There were only people he had wronged. Barney hung onto Robin's cruel words anyway…and not just because she was secretly his favorite.

So why, he figured someone might ask, why did he feel this way? Why did all of this hurt him so much?

Barney winced as he thought of every mistake, every ounce of mischief he had cause for his so-called friends. Sure, they could laugh about it now, but Barney knew they wished he wasn't so obnoxious and he agreed with them. He was desperate for any chance, any chance at all to prove to them that he could be a good person, and helping Lily could be his chance.

Marshall's call might have fixed things for him and the others, but not for Barney. He had apologized; he had forgiven him; Barney put his head in his hands. There was one problem with that phone call.

He hadn't given Marshall that promotion.

* * *

**AN: This chapter had a lot of feelings but I promise the action picks up again soon! Thanks so much for reading! I love all of your reviews :)**


	5. Chapter 5

As his taxi pulled up to the brewery, Barney had a lot on his mind. Lily had asked him to use any means to help her get her ring back before Marshall noticed it was gone…he smiled a bit as he thought of the couple's love. He wished he could find something in life that satisfying. Anyways, Barney knew that Lily had come to him because he could pull invisible strings and jump through invisible hoops to get a job done. However, he didn't know what he'd be able to do for this case…it wasn't like he knew a group of thugs to go get it back. Barney tilted his head thoughtfully. _Maybe…nah._ He walked into the party, straightening his tie.

Barney was greeted by a wave of tipsy young men from his friends' college days. He had no interest in talking to them. He left his hands casually in his pockets and raised his chin, trying to scour the crowd. Nothing.

He almost fell back into his familiar party pattern, grabbing a drink at the first opportunity he saw. Barney like to loiter at corners, not a part of the conversation but aware of everything that happened around him. He spotted Robin and Lily huddled together across the room, a grin making its way onto his face as he realized how well their plan had worked. He was proud of those two crazy girls.

Sighing happily, Barney had almost forgotten the pressure he was under, and it was nice. He inched carefully out of the crowd and strayed into a side hallway offering a view of the brew kettles. Feeling a little lightheaded, he leaned his forehead against the large window and turned it slightly to take another sip of his drink.

"Barney!" The voice made him jolt his head to the other side in surprise, though he didn't remove it from the window.

"Oh! H…h…" Barney's lips quivered and refused to finish his words.

"Man, I've been looking for you everywhere! I'm so glad you decided to come!" Marshall clapped a hand onto Barney's shoulder. Barney drew his neck in and forced a smile – his past experiences with Marshall's hand hadn't gone well, especially the most recent.

"Uhuh!" He avoided making eye contact. How was he going to explain…?

"That promotion…geez. I owe you one. Want me to buy you a drink later? That's the least I can do!" Marshall continued to ramble happily.

Barney squeezed his eyes shut. He couldn't take much more of this. Marshall was only being nice to him because he thought he had done something good for him…it made him sick to his stomach. Who was the bad guy here? Did a person really have to _earn_ their friendship? And Robin and Lily…and Ted…they were all the same!

"Barney, you with me? Not zoning out again?" Marshall chuckled.

Oh no. _Oh no. _Barney felt his breath hitch. He was stupid – of course they cared about him. But what had he ever done for them? His mind swirled as he tried to catch his breath – why was it so hard to breathe? – and began to panic. He couldn't bring himself to tell Marshall…it would kill whatever friendship they had left.

But he couldn't…find the air…to talk either way. Marshall was staring at him. So Barney did the only thing there was left to do – he ran.

With Marshall calling after him, Barney madly ripped through the crowd to get away. In sight of the door, he passed the disguised girls once more. Lily caught his gaze for a slight second - and his hazy mind suddenly knew where he was going.

* * *

Barney jumped from his memory as Ted's kids yelled, "WHAT?!" furiously for what must have been the millionth time. God, was he telling that damned pineapple story _again?_ He watched Ted pause for a moment, letting the suspense hang in the air while his niece and nephew raised their eyebrows. Adjusting his position on the wall, Barney silently agreed with them – he hated awkward pauses in a story. No one liked to be kept waiting. So, remembering how he had come to be sprinting down New York one night…

* * *

"Barneeeyy!" Marshall shouted as the agile blonde raced out of the brewery and down the street. His mouth dropped in concern. Was Barney still mad at him? A familiar face appeared in the corner of Marshall's vision.

"Lily?! How did you- Why- Is that Barney's-"

"I'll explain later! What's going on?" she broke through his stutters.

"I just saw Barney…and I tried to…well, he ran away," Marshall gestured to the door, still slightly ajar as his friend had left it.

Lily cocked her head, confused. "I don't understand…why would Barney do that?"

"I don't know! He wouldn't still be angry at me, would he…?"

"Of course not!" Lily assured her fiancé. "I know Barney, and he always puts his friends first. What was that one code or whatever…"

"…bros before hoes…" Marshall muttered under his breath.

"…yeah, that! He doesn't hate you." Lily rubbed his shoulder with a strong grip on his hand.

"Well – he just ran out the door I mean–" Marshall tripped over his words, trying to figure out his friend.

Lily shivered as she remembered her cab ride to the party and what lay outside that door. Barney couldn't – he _wouldn't_ – but if he was desperate enough – Lily screamed.

Marshall's eyes widened and he pulled the small woman close to him. All eyes were drawn to the pair as Marshall desperately tried to calm her down. "Lily! What's wrong? How did you –" Ted gasped as he joined them.

Lily struggled to convey full sentences between her sobs. She knew the ring situation would break Marshall…but… Lily hastily told them the story of her incident in the alley. Marshall's grip around her tightened as she reached the description of the man who had, in some sense, stolen her engagement. He said nothing.

"…and then I asked Barney for help." she squeaked timidly. "And…hhe might be in troubblee." She was in a daze, staring at her friends as they stood lost for words. Her eyes traveled to the door and snapped all the way open. "WHAT ARE WE DOING? SOMEONE GO AFTER HIM!"

There was a jump and a short struggle, but no one could stop Marshall as he plowed through to the door. This was his fault, so he was going to fix it. A few of his college buddies stood by the door, trying to pry it open, but a hinge was stuck from the outside. The door had already been heavy, and now it refused to budge. Marshall stalked towards the door anyways, determinedly shoving his friends aside. He placed his monstrous hand on the handle.

"_Ted, tell her the story of the really heavy door."_

"_There was a really heavy door. He opened it."_

"_On one pull."_

* * *

This was how Barney Stinson came to be sprinting down a deserted street late at night, the wind whipping at his suit and almost, but not nearly, tearing it off of him. His face was pale and expressionless as he glanced up to find his way.

Marshall tore down the sidewalk, his eyes locked straight ahead as he desperately wished for any sign of his friend. Maybe he was just out here sulking or something. Lily was just freaking out over nothing…they would fix this…this was going to end with him finding Barney just in time and they would laugh and make up and walk back to the party. That was how most of their stories ended that year. Most of them.

Barney reached a corner and decided to chance taking it. Thankfully it led him to a larger stretch of sidewalk. Glancing up, he saw a figure lumbering on the other end of the street and squinted to see through the thick night air. Barney stopped dead in his tracks as the figure came closer and widened his eyes. It had to be another person coming for him; he had nowhere to go. Suddenly he couldn't feel anything.

Marshall stopped to catch his breath and pressed his hand against a lamppost. He needed to run more often. Continuing on his way in an exhausted jog, he stared ahead through the enveloping darkness and spotted a moving object. He jogged closer – it was Barney. The blonde was moving impressively fast as he navigated the street with expertise. Marshall moved to greet his friend with relief when Barney suddenly stopped in his tracks. Did he recognize him? Marshall sighed and walked forward when he saw a figure reach around the corner behind Barney. He remembered the armed man from Lily's story.

Time slowed to a standstill as the two men faced each other on the street, and then the world went quiet. Marshall was yelling, but he couldn't hear himself as Barney sank to the ground.

* * *

**AN: Hi guys, sorry for the wait! School's starting up and it's hard to find time to write, but don't worry - I'm not leaving this story! I'm writing whenever I can get a chance! :) I love your reviews, keep telling me what you think because I really appreciate it! Also, today's my birthday :) **


	6. Chapter 6

Dead night air closed in on the scene enveloping on a chilled, musty New York side street. Marshall jerked forward as Barney toppled with a last look of desperation. When Marshall moved to grab his friend, Barney was frighteningly still. He managed to close his fingers around the collar of the blonde's suit, which held up surprisingly well. The weight of the man strained Marshall's arm, but he managed to stop his face from colliding with the ground. Marshall slowly lowered Barney the rest of the way before his strength gave out and tried not to let his panic take over. Glancing over his shoulder, suddenly remembering the danger, he spotted a tall figure sprinting off into the distance. The coward.

Marshall bit his lip as he reached down to Barney, shaking with apprehension. "Come on, bro." He prodded the man's shoulder anxiously. "Barney." There was no answer. Barney lay silent, eyes squeezed shut, cradling his arms to his chest. Very slowly, Marshall pried one hand away and blinked quickly when he saw red. He leapt up and away from the sight, desperately looking both ways for any sort of help. His breath hitched when he realized that the street was deserted.

Without hesitation, Marshall did the only thing he could; he scooped Barney off of the ground rather roughly and bolted. With one hand under his friend's shoulders and the other under his knees, Marshall kept an impressive pace as he ran towards the corner. Barney's head bounced up and down with every heavy step, unsupported and stiff. His golden spikes of hair were starting to droop. Suddenly, he wasn't the invincible brother the group saw him as.

"M'sh'll…?" The faint whisper just barely reached Marshall's ears. He glanced down to see Barney squinting at him in surprise. His head still bobbed up and down comically.

"Yeah, it's me buddy," Marshall answered painfully, trying to focus on finding his direction. "I'm getting help, okay?" There was no answer. "Okay?" He looked down again to see Barney's eyes close again and lose their expression. Marshall groaned in frustration and ran faster.

He was shocked at how easy it was to sprint with Barney in his arms. No one had seen him for days – had he eaten anything? Marshall suddenly panicked as he stumbled over a crack in the sidewalk and almost lost his balance. He could feel Barney straining as he tried to lean back in for support, but his efforts were weak. Marshall was beginning to realize just how much they had depended on him over the past few years. Sure, Barney had his flaws, but he had always been there to help his friends whenever they needed him. Though when they tried to help him back…he always refused. Barney could be so stubborn. He wouldn't accept their help because he was too proud – _Well_, Marshall thought, _he's getting our help now whether he likes it or not._

Marshall figured he must be an odd sight, running past multiple stores and restaurant windows as he neared the brewery. How often did you see a man running in a suit, carrying _another_ man in a suit? Probably not every day. He pressed his back to the brewery door, being careful not to knock Barney's head into the side. The door was easy to open now; it would never completely close after what Marshall had done to it. He squeezed into the crowded space, ignoring the stares and searching for the tiny circle that had formed around his fiancé and Ted when he had left them.

Ted stood up immediately, eyes bugging out as he took in the pale face and red stain on his friend's jacket. "Oh my _god,_ Barney –" he breathed, although an injured Barney wasn't a completely unfamiliar sight to anyone. He hadn't done anything for Barney after the punch, had he? He hadn't even tried to talk to his friend. What kind of friend was _he?_ Ted gulped as Marshall passed him and he saw Barney's head swing in a dead weight, with no effort to lift it. "No, no, no," Ted muttered in denial.

Seeing Lily's hysterical state (and because his arms were tired), Marshall tried to gently place Barney on the warm wooden floor. The man simply lay motionless on the ground as Marshall moved to comfort his fiancé. Lily, however, had begun to cry silently and fight her way to help. She crouched next to the curled – up Barney and moved his feet so he would be more comfortable, Ted and Marshall close behind her. Barney's face twitched as he began to stir. Marshall examined the stain on the side of his friend's jacket more closely – it wasn't large, and it didn't look like a bullet of any sort was stuck in there. He sighed – Barney should be okay.

Ted's spirits lifted as Barney furrowed his eyebrows and opened his eyes a crack. Slightly awake, Barney blinked slowly and tilted his head at his friends. "Hi…" he stuttered hoarsely. He looked at the ground next to his face, contemplating how he had gotten there. He seemed confused at first, but his expression turned to realization. Barney winced at the sting in his chest, and Ted winced as well.

"You okay, buddy?" Marshall volunteered, looking guilty.

"Mmhmmm…." Barney seemed to be drifting off again. "Hey!" Ted yelped, grabbing hold of his friend's arm. "Stay awake!" Barney scrunched up his face in obvious discomfort, and weakly tried to pull his arm away. His body didn't seem to want to work.

"Hey, bro…" Marshall pulled Ted off and spoke more supportively. "Barney. Look. We're all wearing suits tonight – even Robin and Lily!" He grinned. "That's awesome."

A small, forced smile made its way onto Barney's face. "Da is a'sm…" he agreed in exhaustion. The group exchanged a worried look. Barney shouldn't be this out of it. A friend had called the hospital and sent for an ambulance, but he needed to stay awake. It looked like he had no energy left. He was still struggling to breathe, and started to cough slightly. Ted put his hand on Barney's forehead to try and calm him down.

"Guys – m's'rry…" Barney managed to speak. "I know…m'not a good fr'nd."

Ted and Marshall laughed. "Shut up, Barney, you're awesome. And confused," Marshall replied. He took another peek at the wound beneath his friend's suit and raised his eyebrows in pleasant shock when he saw that the bleeding had stopped. "Well, he's fine…" he told the others. They felt relieved, but couldn't help noticing how strangely Barney was acting.

Lily was the next to address him. "What were you thinking, Barney? You couldn't …I mean you weren't smart to…no…you shouldn't have tried to do that. You could have been killed!" she stuttered, trying not to reprimand him too much after what he had done.

Barney was coughing more and more persistently, gritting his teeth between breaths to make himself look stronger. As he looked straight at the group of friends, his eye began its usual twitch. "Lil," he managed, craning his neck and slightly lifting his arm. The ring slipped out from inside the cuff of his suit, and he fell into another coughing fit. Lily picked it up, raising her eyebrows at Barney and biting her lip.

"You actually got it?"

He smiled a little half-grin. "I actually did," he wheezed, attempting to laugh. Marshall grasped Lily's shoulder, still fuzzy on the details of his fiancé's story but sympathetic. "Dude. You didn't need to-"

Barney moved his hand drastically and cut Marshall off. "I did!" he struggled to argue. He began to cough once more and turned his head to the side, revealing the pulsing red skin on his neck.

"Poor baby, are you okay?" Lily cooed, putting her hand on his forehead. "Guys, he's sweating a lot…" She tried to make him feel comfortable but he resisted, wincing and kicking his feet.

"The ambulance should almost be here by now," Ted reassured. He crouched next to Lily and bit his tongue in confusion as Barney kept coughing. Ted put his hand on his friend's chest and froze. "Holy SHIT, Barney," he nearly shouted, turning around. "His heartbeat is _waaay _too fast to be normal!"

Barney was nearly unconscious again, and the gang frantically urged him to stay awake. Robin grimaced in the background, biting her tongue and looking over her shoulder to avoid the scene. Ted glanced at her a few times, waving her to come join them, but she raised her head and stared back defiantly.

The ambulance was quick to arrive once the gang had gotten Barney under control, but he was still in bad shape. He scrunched up his face and made a weak effort to push away a paramedic, but gave up too quickly. His last resisting effort was to dangle halfway off of the stretcher and claw at the ground.

"What happened to him?" another paramedic asked Ted as he watched Barney shake his head no at the people in the ambulance.

"Um…we thought he had a gunshot wound, but it didn't look that bad," Ted admitted.

The paramedic frowned. "Unless it was to the head, a gunshot wound shouldn't cause this. Nothing else is wrong with him that you know of?"

Ted tried to stay calm. "No. We thought he was fine…"

They moved into the crowd and the paramedic approached Barney. "Sir, can you tell me what's wrong? How you feel?"

Barney frowned and seemed confused. "Um." He moved his head back and forth roughly. "Well," he started. Blinking quickly, he turned to Ted. Barney's eyes moved to the side as he became frustrated. "What?"

"Barney, seriously, come on," Ted retorted. Barney only blinked at him.

Lily and Marshall came up behind the group. "Okay, we'll meet you guys at the hospital. We'll leave now, and Ted and Robin can ride in the ambulan-"

"No, no, I'm not going," Robin protested, appearing in the doorway to the brewery.

"Robin, we have to leave NOW," Ted persisted, trying to grab her hand.

She roughly shook it away. "No, Ted. You don't get it. I can't go with Barney

because…because…oh, I don't know, Ted. I just can't.

Ted scowled at her. "Some friend you are."

Robin chuckled in disbelief. "Look at _you_, Ted! _You're _supposed to be his best friend! Where have you been?"

"DON'T you put the blame on-" Ted stopped, remembering when he had left Barney in pain to comfort Marshall. He turned away, furious at himself. He couldn't believe Robin.

"Hey, are you Ted?" A male voice called from the door of the ambulance. "Patient's asking for you."

Ted perked up. "I'll ride with him." He stumbled on the step and crouched in the small space available.

"He won't stay still, and we need to assess him before we decide on any treatment. Do you think you can calm him down?" the kind paramedic added as he followed Ted inside.

Ted nodded and took hold of Barney's hand. Barney gave him a slightly disgusted look, but after some hesitation he closed his fingers. "Stay," he muttered. Barney blinked slowly as he tried to stay aware of everything happening. He jerked when a paramedic suddenly opened his suit to thrust a needle into his skin.

"Mm-mmm," Barney hummed, biting down hard on his lip and keeping his mouth shut. Wrestling his hand away from Ted's, he held his arms stiffly to his chest.

"Keep still," the paramedic said roughly. In response, Barney began to writhe uncomfortably on the stretcher. "His heart is slowing!" someone called from nearby, but it seemed very far away to Ted's ears. He grabbed Barney's hand again and clenched it tightly in hope that his friend would feel it, but Barney only shook harder. The paramedics in the back were finally moving to close the ambulance doors, although Ted wondered how much longer it would take to get his friend to the hospital. He focused back on Barney only to realize that the man had stopped moving.

"No heartbeat," the paramedic announced.

Ted fell backwards and blacked out.

* * *

**AN: Hey guys, I haven't forgotten about you! Thanks for waiting and sticking with this story, I gave you a longer chapter this time around to say sorry! I promise to update more quickly :) Have fun with the cliffhanger! **


	7. Chapter 7

Ted awoke to a number of hurried shouts and a pair of hands helping him sit up. He could sense the fear in the vehicle; Barney was still where he'd left him. Ted moved to get up and see, but was pushed back down by an anxious paramedic. As the ambulance's engine started, there was suddenly a piercing knock on the back door. It was opened a crack by the paramedic.

"Let me through!" Ted heard someone shriek. He was still confused, but it sounded like Robin. He saw her force her body through the door and past the people inside. Someone tried to pull her back, but she elbowed him aside. "Get out of the way! Where's Barney?" Then she saw who lay motionless on the stretcher.

Ted watched as Robin fought her way to Barney's side. She snatched his hand (the one Ted had been holding) and sank her face into his chest. There was a frozen silence for a few seconds.

_Beep._

* * *

Ted sat silently in the corner of the ambulance, now rushing on its way to the hospital. He snuck a peek at Robin, still clenching Barney's hand and fighting a losing battle with her own tears. The hum of the engine beneath him did nothing to calm down his anger. _He_ should be the one over there holding his best friend's hand, not Robin. She hadn't cared before. Yet she had just been the one to save Barney's life. Ted looked at the ground. _That should have been me._ He glared up at the pair again, together among the several paramedics who had resumed their work, and held back a cry of frustration.

* * *

The night sky began to clear as Lily and Marshall finally crossed the threshold of the hospital. An odd tension hung between them, as neither wanted to hear what they feared for Barney. The couple spotted Ted and Robin standing apart in a waiting room; Robin looked on the verge of tears, and Ted coldly without emotion.

"What…what happened?" Lily approached, clinging to Marshall's side.

Robin's eyes flashed immediately. "Oh, Lily, it was awful. He wasn't moving when I held his hand…he was so cold, but everyone was working so hard to make him okay…he's going to be okay." She gave a subtle smile to Lily, and nodded to Marshall. However, the man's attention was focused elsewhere.

"Ted? You okay?" He raised his eyebrows worriedly.

Ted's focus didn't leave the floor. "Yeah. Rough night."

Robin turned to give Ted a piercing stare, and Lily pulled him into a hug. He accepted the embrace blankly. Robin didn't realize that Barney had already been dead. She didn't realize what she had done when she broke into that ambulance. Something about Robin had brought Barney back, but deep down, Ted didn't know if he would ever be ready to tell her.

A doctor wandered over to the group, clipboard in hand and face grim with exhaustion. "You're here with Mr. Stinson?"

Marshall nodded enthusiastically; he just wanted to see his friend and make sure Robin was right. He wouldn't believe Barney was okay until he heard and saw it with his own eyes.

The doctor glanced down. "His symptoms all point to heart failure. His heartbeat, coughing, difficulty breathing, lack of concentration…it wasn't a good idea to lay him down flat in that case, but you didn't know the circumstances. However, after surgery and treatment your friend is going to be okay. He's stronger than most patients with his condition."

The group huddled together in silence. Marshall could feel his own heartbeat racing, and finally spoke. "Do you know what caused it?" he asked quietly.

"Well, judging from the tests we ran…it seems like your friend Barney was born with a congenital heart defect. It's simply a small hole in his heart, most likely caused by the use of alcohol or cigarettes when his mother was pregnant." Lily and Robin shared a pitiful look. "His defect went overlooked without treatment, but was small enough that it didn't cause him any problems. However, due to his chest injury…it was severely ripped even further and caused the failure. You have a lucky friend, folks." The doctor matched gazes with Ted knowingly. "Seeing as he is stable, you four may visit Mr. Stinson. If anyone asks you why so many visitors were allowed at once, pretend you weren't aware of the rule." He winked and turned to go. "Let your friend wake up on his own; don't bother him too much," he added cheerfully as he exited the room.

Marshall held his breath with guilt. So if he had stopped Barney…this might not have happened to his friend. He led the way to the marked door and gently turned the handle; this was one door he would promise not to break. He dipped his head in calm acceptance at the sight of his friend. Barney was asleep on the bed, a mask giving him oxygen and multiple IVs protruding from his arm. The other arm was propped up with pillows in an unmistakable high five position. Nobody knew where to begin or what to say, but Marshall smiled and lightly pressed his hand against Barney's. He was followed by Lily, and Ted nodded and gave his friend a small high five as well. Robin brought up the rear; she moved to give Barney's hand a small push, but couldn't bring herself to leave. She stood still with her palm flat against his. Almost an hour later, after the rest of the group had fallen asleep in their waiting chairs, Robin remained motionless. Her fingertips were getting stiff, but for her, time had stopped until Barney would wake up. Neither hand moved a muscle, and Robin felt tears of regret behind her eyes.

"Freeze frame high five," she whispered to Barney. She closed her eyes.

* * *

Ted awoke for the second time that day, stretching his arms and almost punching Lily in the face. He tensed as he realized exactly where he was.

"Barney?" he muttered in a deep sigh. Robin didn't stir, still asleep, seated with her hand pressed against the blonde's and her head slumped on her own shoulder; trust Robin to support herself.

Ted peeled his weakened body off of the hospital chair. Streams of morning light were edging their way around the cold white room as clouds danced around the rising sun. He rubbed his eyes in exhaustion. This was like being the first to wake at a sleepover all over again…but this time, it wouldn't be acceptable to wake the others up. Especially not the figure resting on the bed. Ted stepped around Robin's figure, slumped awkwardly at the edge, to get a straight view of the man who called him best friend. He could see the person he had once known slipping away under the mess of blankets, tubes, and Robin. He wished he had done something more to keep that old Barney safe.

Ted sauntered closer, and placed his hand on the blonde's shoulder. It sank a bit, and Ted drew in a breath of disappointment. "I'm sorry, buddy," he said honestly. He didn't care who heard him.

Barney's eyes flashed open, a spark of interest lighting behind their dim expression. He looked straight at Ted. The two men's gazes bore into one another, meeting at a standstill. Ted opened his mouth to speak, but in doing so he broke the moment and the flame flickered along with Barney's eyelids. They fully closed, and his head sunk down without help from his neck. Ted gritted his teeth and reached out to gently push Barney's head back up against the pillows. He felt the softly styled blond strands of hair against his fingers, wondering how on earth Barney managed it. His friend began to breathe in and out strongly through the mask, almost sending a silent signal to Ted that he had done the right thing.

Ted knew he hadn't done the right thing. He may have been sorry, but he sure as hell hadn't been a best friend.

_Because you're my best friend, alright? You don't have to tell me I'm yours…_

Ted lifted his hand from the shoulder and returned to his chair. He was asleep in minutes.

Barney opened his eyes again, but his best friend was gone.

* * *

**AN: Keep reading and reviewing! :) Don't worry, Barney's okay!**


	8. Chapter 8

The first thing Barney remembered was a blur of hospital walls, the ceiling, and Ted's face, but he might have been dreaming. He decided that remembering was too hard. A mess of brown hair greeted him as he fully came to consciousness, and Barney chuckled…at first. He stopped quickly when he realized what was causing the pressure against his right hand. Barney strained his neck and gritted his teeth as he stared upwards. He knew he liked Robin, but he was careful to respect her relationship with Ted…right? Barney's still-drugged and hazy mind contemplated this for a few minutes. He decided to speak; he was feeling a bit lonely.

"Scherbatsky, what is your face doing on my body?"

She stirred abruptly, lifting her head from the side of his chest, and looked astonished. "I wasn't…I mean…"

Barney tried to squint at her knowingly, but ended up wheezing with laughter. "So, what brings you here at this time in the morning? More importantly, what brings ME here?"

Robin drew in her breath sharply; she was fully awake now. "Do you…not…you don't remember?"

Barney pursed his lips and appeared to be concentrating intensely. Robin studied him as he blinked slowly, trying to piece together his memory. "I…I think I was at the brewery. At the party." He frowned as the past few days' events came rushing back. "And I was talking to Marshall…wait. Marshall." Barney's eyes widened, and he tried to jerk sideways to scan the room. He gasped in surprise as pain shot through his chest, and Robin held his shoulders in a tight, restraining grip.

"I'm sorry, Marshall!" Barney whimpered deliriously. Robin still struggled to keep him still.

Barney flinched as he remembered why his friend had punched him, and struggled not to show his fear. The recent trauma had left his composure weakened, and emotions spilled across his face like an open book. The worst feeling came when he remembered his own horror; Barney had actually done what Marshall had blamed him for, and felt like he deserved every knuckle across the face.

"Barney, it's okay. Marshall's not angry at you anymore, remember? You saved him. And you went out and saved something for Lily, too. You're a hero," Robin soothed, her eyes glinting with admiration but revealing a touch of sadness. Was Scherbatsky hiding something?

"What did I do?" Barney moaned, closing his eyes in exasperation. The images in front of him were growing fuzzy, and they were making it hard to concentrate on Robin.

"Shh. Lily can thank you herself." Robin's cheeks flushed red as she rose from the bed, but Barney didn't notice. He was already asleep.

* * *

Marshall's ears were what finally jerked him awake. He lifted his head to an amusing sight around the hospital bed: his fiancé, Ted, and Robin were all crowded around the bed where the blonde lay. Lily and Robin dangled an assortment of food in front of Barney's face, taunting him with hospital hunger. They had draped his shoulders in his best ties. Seeing as he couldn't move out of bed to stop them, Barney crossed his arms and pouted, reluctantly allowing the girls to tease him. He hid a smirk, and Marshall could see he secretly enjoyed the attention.

Ted wandered over to Marshall, shamelessly donning his red boots.

"HEY, man!" Ted greeted him nonchalantly, raising his hand in a stiff wave.

"Ted? What's going on? The doctor said to let Barney sleep." Marshall glanced angrily back to the bed, where Lily was retelling one of the group's old stories. Barney was fighting not to roar with laughter and clenching his fists instead. Marshall glared pointedly back at Ted.

"Well…but…" Ted gave Marshall a mischievous half-smile and shrugged innocently. "He was bored."

Marshall dipped his head and exhaled. "Ted, this isn't just about last night, is it?" he spoke apprehensively, lowering his voice.

Ted's eyes protested, but he couldn't hold out any longer. "Marshall, look at what we've done to him. Both of us. And then he almost…" he gulped nervously. "Look, I'm just trying to make sure he's…" Ted stopped again, fumbling for the words.

Marshall's eyes widened. "Has he said anything? He's okay, right?"

"Yeah, yeah, no, yeah!" Ted protested. Marshall gave him a knowing glance. "Well, he doesn't remember a lot of what happened last night but he avoided the topic of you, so we kind of started distracting him…"

Barney's frail voice interrupted their conversation. "Hey, um…can everyone back up a sec and tell me what I did last night?" He turned away almost shyly, as if he were ashamed to find out. Lily gave the boys a worried eye.

"Barney, do you remember when I told you what happened to me in the alley…?"

He seemed lost for a few moments, but his mind nimbly caught up with the story. "Oh. Yeah, I was wondering why you were wearing your…" he paused suspiciously, mouth dangling open, and tilted his head to the side in his unmistakable Barney way. His eyes flared and he looked alarmingly at Lily.

"Did I…?" he mouthed, gesturing to himself. The fully dumbfounded expression on his face was an unfamiliar sight to the group of friends. Ted and Marshall both opened their mouths and tried to respond uncomprehensibly.

The door widened behind the two men as the doctor from earlier made his way inside.

"Just checking in here. Mr. Stinson, your results seem to be fine. You should be well enough to return home soon enough," he addressed.

"Uhhh…thanks," Barney responded quietly, tilting his head to the side with guarded confusion. His eyes were wide, still cloudy from sleep. The doctor nodded and exited the room.

"Guys?" Barney began quietly. "What's wrong with me?" He grew a look of genuine concern.

Lily started forward and took Barney's hand in both of hers. "Well…it looks like you have heart issues."

Barney brightened and began to laugh confidently. "Please! The Barnacle doesn't have 'issues'." He continued to chuckle at the quiet faces around him, but his laughs died down when all he received back were stares of sympathy. "What?" Still silence. "Okay, so I had one minor flaw as a kid. But it wasn't that big of a deal! In fact, it hasn't even bothered me since…" Barney yawned and his eyes began to glaze over. "…since…" He fell forward and began to snore, blond hair brushing Lily as she tried to hoist him back up.

Marshall leaned over to help, leaving an awkward exchange of looks between Ted and Robin. Ted reached out to comfort her, and she reluctantly accepted the embrace. The room was still until Lily softly asked the question nagging at all four minds.

"Since what?"

* * *

_February 27, 1998_

_ Barney Stinson stormed out of the café and onto the wet, dreary New York street. (Little did he know that this was the same street he would find himself sprinting down approximately nine years later.) He grunted furiously, distraught over his betrayal. His love. His one and only, Shannon. Barney felt pathetic; how could he be treated like that? He was always nice to others but no one cared to return the favor. The suit flyer was shoved into his chest; before he even looked at it, Barney made a mental note to never be taken advantage of again. No, he was done giving love. If anyone was going to have the advantage from now on, it would be him._

_ Standing in the very spot where he would later fall helplessly into his friend's arms, Barney looked up from the flyer with a cruel, menacing sneer. His soft blue eyes became fierce with hate. _

_ That was the first time Barney's heart stopped beating, and ironically enough it would need to stop again before it could restart._

* * *

**AN: Thanks for all the reviews! :) I love hearing from you guys, hope you're enjoying the story and there is more to come soon! Send me your thoughts on anything or suggestions for more! **


	9. Chapter 9

The next day passed with Barney drifting in and out of sleep. Ted, Marshall, Lily, and Robin took turns staying so that his short windows of conversation wouldn't be wasted, all four constantly concerned that the last thing they had said to him would turn out to be…well, the last thing they would say to him. However, talking didn't seem to be as productive with Barney as planned. He was just as exhausting as ever to handle, and especially more stubborn. He refused their help when they tried to get him out of bed; instead, he would attempt to roll in various ways until he ended up a breathless heap beneath the blankets. In fact, Barney's refusal to stand was the only remaining reason his friends hadn't kicked him mercilessly in the nuts. Lily swore with a vengeance that her fist would be his next dose of medicine after he managed to pickpocket Marshall, succeeding more than once. The single part of Barney's condition that seemed out of place to the group was his unawareness. He wasn't able to catch a glimpse of the terrible situation he had been in, still almost childish in his responses to their questions about his memory.

"I don't know what you're talking about!" he would sigh, rolling his eyes to the ceiling. "Just shut up and leave me alone." Barney would then bury himself in pillows and refuse to speak for a good amount of time, or until someone brought him food. The person stranded with this job was, by occasion: Marshall, when the food was disagreeable so he wouldn't be tempted; Lily, when Marshall was asleep and wouldn't smell the food; Robin, when she happened to have food in her purse (which was more often than one might expect); and Ted, when no one else wanted to.

Finally, the point came when Barney was lucid enough for his friends to stay only one at a time, taking visiting shifts as the others tried to fall back into their routines. Barney didn't seem to have much of an opinion, knowing full well that he wouldn't have a say in the matter.

Marshall carefully edged his way into the hospital room one late afternoon, five days after the incident, glancing once more at the text he had just received.

_**Lily: Left swarley sleeping halff hour ago. dr says he can come bck home tonighht **_

He smiled faintly at the mistakes and sauntered over to the side of the bed, contemplating whether or not he should wake his friend. Barney finally seemed happy and over the initial shock, and Marshall wanted to let that happiness last before any more hell broke loose. Now that he thought about it, he couldn't remember the last time the blonde had actually been happy…sure, he laughed and joked with them, but what made him happy with his life? Getting laid? Looking nice? It was a mystery to Marshall, and thinking again about the punch the tall man frowned uncomfortably. Barney shifted a bit and smiled in his sleep, the face that Marshall had broken only a few days ago now healed.

"Five bucks says he's dreaming about you," Ted announced in a singsong voice over Marshall's shoulder. He had crept soundlessly through the door, right behind his friend.

Marshall wasn't phased; he had known Ted was sneaking around behind him. Without turning, he broke into a delirious smile. "Five bucks says you're jealous," he retorted, amused.

"But I- that's not- dammit!" Ted muttered through his teeth, clenching his jaw and crumpling the money into Marshall's outstretched hand. He comically shoved the tall man aside and sauntered closer to the bed. Barney was clenching his fingers and breathing rather quickly, but neither of his visitors was concerned. Barney's newfound heart condition had been diagnosed as nothing serious to worry about, though that didn't mean he would be left unscarred. Twitching and increased stress levels would be something his friends came to expect. They had seen odd behaviors like this all day long, and the only thing they could do at the moment was wait for the blonde to recover.

"So how long are you making him stay at our place?" Ted asked with a cheesy grin.

"No longer than he has to," Marshall scowled. "This guy, Ted, I swear he has the self-sufficiency of a 2-year-old. And that's when he's perfectly healthy."

"Oh, come on, it'll be fun!" Ted patted his friend on the back light-heartedly. "It'll be good practice for when you and Lily, you know…" He gave a devilish smile and dodged Marshall's punch to the shoulder. He laughed and stretched out a hand to shake Barney. The blonde stirred and sleepily raised his eyes, and Marshall flashed Ted a look of annoyance; so much for giving their friend peace. He raised his hand in greeting, giving the blonde a gentle high-five and receiving a frown in return. Ted sighed and motioned for Barney to smile; Barney did so drowsily, still half-asleep and sedated. He leaned back on the pillow almost innocently, and Ted couldn't help but laugh.

Marshall left the room to inquire about checking out of the hospital, leaving the other two men to themselves. As soon as Barney came to his senses, Ted wasted no time in entertaining him with news from his friends. To his surprise, Barney didn't moan and sigh every time Ted started another story; he sat up and cocked his head, seeming genuinely interested every time Ted told him about boring afternoons with Robin. The account of Marshall's trip to the dentist earlier had him laughing so hard he cried and clutched his chest – but that was another story. Ted wasn't oblivious to the interest in the blonde's eyes as he said Robin's name, though…

_You don't have anything to worry about, _he reminded himself cautiously. _Barney's your friend, and you're still dating Robin. But what if they never find out about…what if it was me and I never knew…_

Barney had begun to spin a tale of his own about his "experience" with a nurse that Ted wasn't listening to; the words flowed in and out of his ears. He bit his lip deafly. "Barney?"

"AND I COULDN'T EVEN MOVE MY LEGS! It was legend- Yeah?" He raised his eyebrows, clearly irritated at the interruption, but he was too weak to protest.

"How much do you remember about the night you got here, really?"

There. It was done. Ted couldn't tell how this conversation was going to go; he shouldn't have said anything. No, his friends needed to know. No – but what if he didn't remember? But – what about Robin? What about Robin?

Barney blinked. "I know that I got Lily's ring back. I saw it on her finger. I remember that now."

Ted didn't know how to react. Barney was taking him surprisingly seriously today. "And after that?"

"I saw Marshall. And you. Maybe Robin? I don't know."

Ted couldn't stop now. "Barney, something happened when you were in the ambulance… well, you were… dead."

To his shock, Barney didn't inquire further. He nodded in acceptance, eyes traveling downward until they could go no further. He bent his head shyly. "I remember that, I think," he admitted quietly. "For a little while, I couldn't… maybe that's why…" he shivered and pulled his arms in closer to his chest.

Ted didn't press his friend further, but watched, conflicted, as brown eyes met blue. There was no need for a psychic conversation. Barney sat still, silently deducing in a way that never failed to surprise Ted. "It was Robin, wasn't it?"

The innocent, looming question in his eyes hung in the air, but it was never answered as Marshall chose this moment to loudly enter the room.

"We're all set to leave in a few, and Ted can help me get the car so we're all set!" he announced shrilly.

Barney kept his gaze steady, and a second passed before Ted finally dragged his eyes away. He felt like he was ripping away from something important. Something that he would regret. But that was Future Ted's problem now.

"No problem!" he answered enthusiastically, and followed Marshall out once more.

Barney sat motionless, looking intrigued. He blinked slowly a few times, eyes still watery from new exposure to the white hospital air. Left to his own devices, he seemed to forget all about the situation and gazed curiously around the room. Little did he know that he had only temporarily buried it; he was good at controlling his emotions. He had had a lot of practice over the years, after all.

"…dary," Barney muttered, finishing his story to no one in particular. _Sometimes, you just have to please yourself to get by,_ he thought with a grin as the door squeaked and the nurse made her way inside.

* * *

"Shut up, let me help you."

"NO!"

"Barney, come on."

"I said no!"

The gang found themselves, a few hours later, struggling to watch their friend take carefully placed steps down the hallway. He barely had the time he needed to step daintily out of the elevator before it closed. Each foot he moved seemed to dangle in the air, mocking both its owner and his friends. Now, Barney was making such a concentrated effort to walk in a straight line that Robin was getting impatient. She swore she saw him wink at her, as if this were just an act. Barney Stinson, even on the brink of death, managed to get along just fine on his sense of humor. His fine, classless, immature sense of humor.

"Fine then, I'll walk with Ted," she crossed her arms and pouted beside her boyfriend. If Barney had no one to laugh at him, half of the show was gone, right? She buried her head in Ted's shoulder, making him struggle to walk even more than the sluggish blonde behind them. He glanced up at the cracked hallway ceiling and sighed in exasperation. Robin persisted, giving him a crooked smile. "I'd rather walk with you, anyways."

Ted sighed again and put his arm around her in acknowledgement. How could he not? He still loved her no matter how confused she made him sometimes, especially since she had just saved Barney's life…did she even suspect…? Ted shook his head in denial and cleared away the thought. He was dating the girl of his dreams, and Barney wouldn't steal it this time. No sir, no more date-stealing from Ted Mosby. They had gone through that act before. He had worked hard for this. (The blue orchestra!) Robin giggled and leaned deeper into Ted's shoulder, and he smiled back at her. There was nothing in the world to worry about.

Meanwhile, Lily scolded Barney for resting too long on the side of the radiator. "You're only halfway down the hallway! Find your feet! Move!" Her voice had almost risen to a scream in annoyance.

Barney only snickered and grinned back defiantly. A forceful push from Marshall almost knocked him off his feet, and his smug expression disappeared as he stumbled closer to the door. Lily leaped forward to open it, and beamed triumphantly as Barney fell against the doorframe, holding himself up by his arms. He gave every effort to life to a standing position, but his body faltered and he remained stuck. Whether he waited for his arms to give way or he gave up now, there was no avoiding a nasty fall to the floor.

"Really?" He tried to turn and shoot a sour look at Marshall, but the tall man had already skipped past him and out of view.

Ted sighed a third time. "Come on, buddy," he encouraged, playing the hero. He sympathetically allowed his friend to lean on the shoulder opposite Robin's. Ted strode through the door accompanied by the two smaller figures, one clinging to him pathetically and the other entwined in his shoulder blade. As soon as the sofa was in view, Barney made a grab for it and hoisted himself over the arm. Ted yelped in surprise, but Barney shoved his outstretched hand away.

"I said I didn't need your help," he said through gritted teeth. Robin laughed at him, amused and cynical. Barney pouted, though he flashed a quick smile back at her. "No one asked you, Roland."

Ted shrugged and followed Marshall and Lily to the kitchen, leaving Barney to mull over by himself. He curled grumpily under one of Lily's pink blankets and began to snore.

* * *

Later, Lily crept to the living room after the others had retired to bed. They had purposely neglected Barney after he had fallen asleep on their watch, and Lily felt regretful. The poor guy deserved some cheering up; after what they had been through over the past few days… As a thought came to mind, she skipped a step in her pink bunny slippers and backtracked to grab a small plastic bottle on the bookshelf. Peering over the back of the couch, she was surprised to find Barney's eyes wide and blank.

"You okay?" she addressed the blonde figure. The couch was eerily quiet for a long pause. He shifted a bit, and the blue eyes regained their focus.

"Sure!" He sat up suddenly, out of his daze. He spoke gruffly, voice sensitive from underuse and sounding exhausted. "Can we go somewhere? I'm bored."

"Barney, it's almost 2:30…" she admitted, shaking her head in denial.

"Oh," he responded, glancing around shyly. Large, purple bags of sleep hung under his eyes, apparent to Lily now that she could see his face better. Had he been getting full nights of sleep?

"I'm…I'm supposed to make sure you take these," she stuttered, bringing around the bottle of medicine she had been concealing behind her back. Being the natural mother that she was, Lily didn't want to pressure him.

Barney made a face of disgust, but thought better of it. "Make me some chocolate milk, and it won't be a problem." He folded his arms proudly and waitied for her consent.

Lily snorted and left the room, but took the bribe. Barney had been surprisingly cooperative lately, considering his usual self; he hadn't complained about living in the apartment, and now he was agreeing to take medicine? This couldn't be right. Lily twisted her mouth to the side in a mousy, contemplative way as she carried the tall glass of chocolate milk back to her friend. He beamed with joy and snatched it from her greedily.

Pausing suddenly, Barney looked up at her. "I'm gonna be okay, right?"

Lily's breath hitched; she hadn't expected him, of all people, to start doubting himself. "Oh, of course you will!" she reassured. "They said as long as you take this stuff for a few days and get checked up once in a while, you'll be fine!" She didn't mention that it could affect him in the long run, no matter how many medications he took… "You should feel stronger after a couple days, don't worry!" she was squeaking with positivity now, trying to hide her fear.

Barney smiled, completely missing the anxiety in Lily's voice. He clumsily popped the medicine into his mouth, then sank further down into the couch. He was already out cold. Lily tiptoed back to her bedroom door where Marshall stood, sleepily awaiting his fiancé.

"Everything go okay?" he asked nervously, rubbing his eyes. Lily took a few seconds to pull her eyes away from the matching duck slippers he was wearing and nodded.

Marshall leaned over her head, flipped the light switch, and whispered into the darkness. "Goodnight, Barney." There was no answer. The apartment was black and motionless. "Good_night_, Barney, " he spoke firmly now, but no response came.

"GOODNIGHT, BARNEY!"

"NIGHT!" Barney shouted, muffled by the small pillow clamped over his head.

Marshall smiled in satisfaction and led Lily back to bed.

* * *

**AN: Hey guys! Thanks for following and reading! I love hearing what you have to say, so go ahead and send me a review :) Thanks! There's more drama to come!**


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